A little something for my spam commenters

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Most TV Shows Named In One Minute Replacing One Word In Title With "Horse"

This may be the greatest contest every thunk up. The contestant must name as many television shows as possible in one minute replace a word with "horse." As in "The Gilmore Horses," "Dawson's Horse," "Golden Horses" and "Three's A Horse." You can only name one one-word television show (as in "Horse" for "Seinfeld"). Here Kumail Nanjiani named 17 shows in one minute. This is the world's funnest record database that I never heard of before.

In keeping

with our current theme of "classic comics deconstructed" comes this ongoing series of Marmaduke Explained by Joe Mathlete at www.29-95.com (a Houston city guide site). It is pretty funny, and you may also enjoy the site's collection of pictures of cake.

Are people over blogs yet? I'm sort of over them.

Second only to "Most Nationalities in a Sauna"

I was just reading Guinness World Records online, like you do, and stumbled across this record: Most Marriage Vows Renewals - Same Couple.

Apparently, Lauren Lubeck Blair and David E. Hough Blair of Tennessee really enjoy renewing their wedding vows all over the world. David says: "We love telling each other we love each other, and looking into each other's eyes and saying our vows."

Remember Twitter!

So Twitter has been attacked today, by vicious hackers who "direct a “botnet,” often made up of thousands of malware-infected home PCs, toward a target site in an effort to flood it with junk traffic. With the site overwhelmed, legitimate visitors cannot access the service."

As is often my response to hackers: Come on. Really? This is your idea of a good time?

Let me reassure you, your act of e-violence is meaningless. The website always wins in the end. In a few hours, it will be back up, and in the meantime, the only losers are Manhattanites who can't find the CupcakeStop Truck (it's on 5th avenue and 22nd street--you're welcome) and protesters in Iran (head to Tehran Square and wear green).

28 (twenty-eight) is the natural number following 27 and preceding 29.

Individual numbers have their own Wikipedia pages.

In my ongoing effort to get the naked mole rat off the front page of my blog

This is a speech Eugene Mirman made at his alma mater.

I like this a little too much

josmith137 is typing...

Have you seen the ad for the Mormon online missionaries? It has a little chat box, labeled "Chat About Faith."

Jo: what made u decide
Zack: i had questions no one would answer :-(
Jo: what kind of questions
Zack: God's purpose 4 my life and what happens after death
Jo: what have u found?

And then it says "Join the Conversation" with a link to chat with an e-missionary.

I like this new tactic because it makes sense that the same people who can be successfully proselytized can also sum up their religious beliefs with an emoticon.

I also think a successful ad campaign for this function could be "Chat Live with a Missionary: For People Who Think Mormonism Might Be Right But Are Too Lazy To Get Up And Answer The Door."

I like this

HOW TO FIGHT - watch more funny videos

Estrogen, anyone?

Things online that made me cry today:

• Personal essay about life-long battle with depression
• Column about women balancing doctoring and motherhood
• Blog posts about pregnancy on Dooce and comments
  
• Judith Warner (who I hate) on entering middle age
• Video of the Frugal Traveler traveling with baby
• Irene Curie Wikipedia page
• Recipe for Middle Eastern avocado puree

Things are looking up

game!

We're the grownups now

I'm excited about the new xkcd book, but I'm even more excited by the photo in this morning's New York Times. Did Randall Munroe really make himself a grown-up ballpit?

Shakespeare. Hank Shakespeare.

What if your last name was Shakespeare and you wanted to be a writer?

So you walk into Samuel French and say, "Hello, I'm Mr. Shakespeare."

And they laugh, and say, "No really, what's your name?"

And you say, "Shakespeare. Hank Shakespeare."

And they say, "Hahaha, that's a really splendid joke and all, but come on..."

And you say, "I know, it's confusing, but that's mah name--take it or leave it!" and give them a winning grin.

And they pause for a moment, and then say, "Well, I assume you are planning to use a pen name?"

And you say, "Why should I? People expect a good play from someone with the last name 'Shakespeare.'"

And they say, "People expect a play by Shakespeare from someone with the last name 'Shakespeare.'"

And you say, "Just read the script. Soon, when people hear the name 'Shakespeare,' they'll think of Hank Shakespeare."

And they say, "No offense, but there's no way that is going to happen."

And you say, "Let's see about that!" and read to them from your new play, "Six Trees And A Peony," and they are astounded. They assure you that that is the sort of thing they love over at HitPlays.com, and usher you out the door and into cyberspace.

"I'll be the Shakespeare of the Internet," you think to yourself, but when you get there you find out that the other Shakespeare is already the Shakespeare of the Internet.

Some more words for the English language

I've finally decided what I want to be when I grow up. I want to be the guy who makes up the words that you have to type in to prove that you are human on the internet. Someone is sitting around making these things up, and I want to be that person. Some of these words are so wonderful! Like "swookers" and "shexomat" and "mripp." Some of them sound like they should actually be words, like "termful," as in something that contains many terms. "Gronic" sounds like an unfortunately chronic groin syndrome, and a "nonister" is a non-issue. "Snedshi" is an Inuit word for snow that's good for sledding. "Surpru!" is what you yell if you're throwing a surprise party but your mouth is full of ice cream. "Grans" is an abbreviation of "Grandma's." I wouldn't want to eat food that was "rallcip" or battle a "Glytor." And we all know what happens if you give a "clome" a "namonin."

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Classical cellist Yo-Yo Ma fart fart fart

I was trying to think of bad things you can say about Yo-Yo Ma, and I couldn’t think of any. He seems like a totally decent guy—classy but fun, talented but down-to-earth. So I’m on the Yo-Yo Ma website, looking at the “Extras” section, and I find a little widget where you can send Yo-Yo Ma a text message and the site publishes what people send in.

I guess there is no moderator reading these.

Actual messages on world-renowned cellist Yo-Yo Ma’s official homepage (that have been up since October 2008!):
“your violin looks burnt up!”
“Hes go huge t@@@”
“hes brown like brown babies doodoo”
“Aw lawd dat smell like keishas butt when she ain’t wipe.”

Is this normal?

Live blogging Thanksgiving.

Is reading a blog about someone else's Thanksgiving dinner supposed to help you better understand your own? Isn't this kind of like--instead of getting presents on Christmas morning--getting pictures of what other people are getting?

Nonetheless, I was happy to hear that at 1:53pm, the couple from New Jersey made it through the Bridge traffic into the city.