Shakespeare. Hank Shakespeare.

What if your last name was Shakespeare and you wanted to be a writer?

So you walk into Samuel French and say, "Hello, I'm Mr. Shakespeare."

And they laugh, and say, "No really, what's your name?"

And you say, "Shakespeare. Hank Shakespeare."

And they say, "Hahaha, that's a really splendid joke and all, but come on..."

And you say, "I know, it's confusing, but that's mah name--take it or leave it!" and give them a winning grin.

And they pause for a moment, and then say, "Well, I assume you are planning to use a pen name?"

And you say, "Why should I? People expect a good play from someone with the last name 'Shakespeare.'"

And they say, "People expect a play by Shakespeare from someone with the last name 'Shakespeare.'"

And you say, "Just read the script. Soon, when people hear the name 'Shakespeare,' they'll think of Hank Shakespeare."

And they say, "No offense, but there's no way that is going to happen."

And you say, "Let's see about that!" and read to them from your new play, "Six Trees And A Peony," and they are astounded. They assure you that that is the sort of thing they love over at HitPlays.com, and usher you out the door and into cyberspace.

"I'll be the Shakespeare of the Internet," you think to yourself, but when you get there you find out that the other Shakespeare is already the Shakespeare of the Internet.