Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Accused Wash. Woman: 'Dog Ate My Checks'

ARLINGTON, Wash. (AP) -- A woman accused of dipping into her ex-husband's bank account without permission blames her dog.

Arlington, Wash., police spokeswoman Kristin Banfield says detectives filed court orders to follow the money trail. They learned the money disappearing from the 42-year-old Arlington man's account was being used to pay for utility bills and other items at his ex-wife's home.

Banfield tells The Herald that the woman's first response was, ''Her dog got into her purse and ate all her personal checks.'' The 50-year-old woman reportedly told police she had no choice but to take money from her former husband's account.

The women is under investigation for identity theft and forgery.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Back in the habit

I'm back! From vacation! And it's great to be back, except sometimes I am very, very sleepy because I have to stare at a computer screen all day again.

But then I discovered this website*, where you can find anagrams of any word you want. And I was less sleepy for a minute while I played.

Here are some excellent anagrams for Smoking Pancakes:
Caking Spokesman
A Smacking Spoken
Seaman Knocks Pig
Paeans Mock Kings
Comas Napkins Keg
Pagan Mocks Skein
Amass Neck Poking
Escaping Ska Monk
Cake Spanking Oms (one backpacker in Nepal says to another: "Man, that was one cake-spanking Om!")

*hat tip to Adam

Friday, June 19, 2009


It wasn't a whole tarantula, just a "molt" that a tarantula sheds.

We are NOT going to make a movie about tarantulas.

Fragile: Handle carefully or contents will break

A hapless employee of my company opened a package from a kid today to find this:
Yes, that is a dead tarantula.

A "fan" sent it in as a gift to encourage us to make a movie about tarantulas. I think she was expecting a more positive reaction than the screams and general hysteria that she caused.

It's unclear if the tarantula was already dead when she wrapped it in tissues and put it in the box.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Someone wrote this article

Local news!*

In the end, they compromised on $11 and all went out for milkshakes.

*tip of the hat to Justin

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

PETA Wishes Obama Hadn't Swatted That Fly

During an interview for CNBC at the White House on Tuesday, a fly intruded on Obama's conversation with correspondent John Harwood.

''Get out of here,'' the president told the pesky insect. When it didn't, he waited for the fly to settle, put his hand up and then smacked it dead.

''Now, where were we?'' Obama asked Harwood. Then he added: ''That was pretty impressive, wasn't it? I got the sucker.''

This is a children's picture book waiting to happen.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

An excellent use of digital technology

Check out the trailer for Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs: THE MOVIE! In 3-D!

I saw "Up" in 3D last night and let me tell you, it really added $4 to the ticket price.

Friday, June 12, 2009

More dystopian food!

from the New Yorker Cartoon Lounge: Summer Snack Ideas.

I do the elliptical naked

Not a new Shouts and Murmurs by Andy Borowitz but I hadn't read it yet. How can people say Shouts and Murmur isn't funny? (I'll grant that the Borowitz Report is pretty uneven.)

"The secret to my success could be boiled down to three little words: my quiet time. It begins at 1 A.M., when I get out of bed, check my e-mail, brush my teeth, scan some documents, and floss. Then I’ll surf the Web, maybe order a sectional couch or trade zloty futures."

Excellent Mitchell and Webb

In my ongoing effort to get the naked mole rat off the front page of my blog

This is a speech Eugene Mirman made at his alma mater.

I like this a little too much

Monday, June 8, 2009

Why you should never google "naked mole rat"

I mean, really?

I'll never understand the baby panda phenomenon. They get a bit cuter, but the newborns are quite icky.

Friday, June 5, 2009

If I was the creator of "Lost"

If I was the creator of “Lost," I wouldn’t have made it a mystery island with a smoke monster and people getting attacked and traveling through time. It would just be like how do a group of people survive on an island, by building houses, and figuring out what plants are edible, and learning to fish and make fires.

Also, I wouldn’t make the series start with a plane crash--that’s a bit scary. Instead, maybe people could just be helicoptered onto the island, or take a boat ride there and have a lovely picnic but then realize they’ve run out of gas and can’t get back to the mainland. But they’d be allowed to leave whenever they wanted because there would be members of the coast guard nearby.

Also, I would use real people, not actors, so you could never guess what they would say next. And I would have them compete in games we set up on the island, like capture the flag and tag with special rules.

Also, the island would be Australia and the show would be set up just outside Sydney. That way people could get snacks they liked just a drive away. We’d give them all phones with regional SIM cards so they could call home, and their loved ones wouldn’t worry. And if they really needed a break, they could just check into a hotel until they were ready to have some fun again.

Actually, maybe I’d just check them directly into the hotel to begin with. We could film them flipping through television channels, getting a drink at the hotel bar, filling up on ice at the ice machine, using the small gym. Yes, that would be the main focus of the show, and then we could take them outside sometimes, to keep the jungle aspect, and they could do tae-bo in the parking lot or argue about where to go for dinner.

I wouldn’t call it “Lost,” either, I’d call it something like “Pretty Comfortable” or “Hotel Time.”

I’d watch it.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Tuesday, June 2, 2009


Monday, June 1, 2009

Fairfax sues Krispy Kreme over ruined sewer system

"The suit details problems with the plant dating as far back as 2004, describing a sewer facility permeated by the smell of doughnuts, pipes clogged with corrosive slime and the resulting raw sewage leaks that eventually shut down the southern Fairfax sewer system."

Thank goodness it wasn't Krispy Kreme bacon cheeseburgers.

The Lord Justice Hath Ruled: Pringles Are Potato Chips

In Britain, most foods are exempt from the value-added tax, but potato chips — known as crisps — and “similar products made from the potato, or from potato flour,” are taxable. Procter & Gamble, in what could be considered a plea for strict construction, argued that Pringles — which are about 40 percent potato flour, but also contain corn, rice and wheat — should not be considered potato chips or “similar products.” Rather, they are “savory snacks.”