Monday, December 22, 2008

The thing about U-Haul is

it sucks.

It's clear that the people who work there do not want to be there. It's far away, by bus or walking. It's impossible to drive giant vans/trucks in the city. They take forever to do anything, and then make you feel like a dork for asking if you can rent blankets--not because they don't have blankets but just because it builds them up to put other people down. Then they make you fill up the gas afterward.

That's why I'm starting my own moving van rental facility. It will be called Awesome Van or maybe Van's the Man. It will be located right next door to wherever you are moving things from. A complimentary driver will be assisted by two burly yet gentle men, who will delicately remove your furniture from your dwelling and place it in the van, which will come pre-cushioned for your convenience. You will be ferried to your destination in a Vespa or something else cool. After they move your things with the grace of very strong swans, the driver will return the van for you, and then offer not to charge you because they weren't finished in under half an hour. The cost of the amount of gas you used will be credited by the company to the green charity of your choice.

1 comment:

Rebecca said...

When I moved uptown, I got in my UHaul and turned it on and the radio was blasting Uptown Girl. So the company might have actual magical powers.