Overheard in the office elevator

"There's a dog shitting right next to my desk all day long. He can't do that. It's just not professional."

Woot

Onion Weekender: One Man's Chilling Tale Of Needing To Get To An ATM Pretty Soon

I'm no superman

My boyfriend is a medical student working at a big hospital in Queens. On his way through the emergency room one afternoon, he sees a prisoner from Rikers Island chained to a hospital bed. The man, seeing my boyfriend in his short white coat, starts to sing:

"I can't do this all on my own..."

What do you save your suicide note as on your laptop?

Nabil al-Rabaa, Mr. Jaber’s partner in Beirut, where the shop opened late last year, said that while most customers had encountered cupcakes before, there was initial confusion. “There were a lot that would say, ‘I’ll take that muffin, and one of those muffins,’ ” Mr. al-Rabaa said. “Please, these are cupcakes!”

Astute Commentary on Society's Ills

In the Duane Reade near my office, they have one of those glassed in lottery machines where shiny, colorful tickets are displayed, promising your best odds to win! win! win!

And in the top left-hand corner, there's a small sticker.

"If you or someone you know has a problem with gambling, dial this number for free addiction counseling."

Proof that God has a sense of humor

but it's weird.