It's sort of sick that I take pleasure even in spam comments.

Estrogen, anyone?

Things online that made me cry today:

• Personal essay about life-long battle with depression
• Column about women balancing doctoring and motherhood
• Blog posts about pregnancy on Dooce and comments
  
• Judith Warner (who I hate) on entering middle age
• Video of the Frugal Traveler traveling with baby
• Irene Curie Wikipedia page
• Recipe for Middle Eastern avocado puree

Stupid people are stupid

This morning on the train I was seated for several stops on the train next to one of those awful blond people with a Chanel bag. Everything this woman did was designed to make me hate her. She swept her perfectly waved blond hair out of her face to reapply her lipstick and gloss, removed her Burberry sunglasses and replaced them in their case. Then, she took out her *pink* Blackberry to check a few things—probably People.com—and finally turned up the volume on her iTouch so that I could hear the thumping in the background of the latest Katy Perry single.

Every single one of the defense mechanisms I built up in a high school full of people like this came crashing out of the gate. “Boy, she looks dumb with all that make-up on,” I thought. “I bet she think it’s cool to be stupid.” “I’ll just continue reading my theology book called ‘The River of Light’” and “I think my purple painted fingernails look funky, so I don’t care if hers are perfectly manicured” and finally, inevitably: “What a cunt.”

Only then, in my head, she started responding to what I was thinking and told ME that I was the one with a problem and that I really ought to dress up and enjoy life while I was young and beautiful. And she said nobody likes poor people, and that why didn’t I brush my hair?

So I punched the bitch, and in my rage, I got off at the wrong stop.

I need to get out of this city.

Keep your thoughts about Miley Cyrus to yourself

It’s days like these, when I feel stifled by my own inadequacy—“Thursdays”—that I like to list people who were older than me when they achieved things:

Age 29 – Oprah Winfrey gets her own T.V. show

Age 30 – Steve Martin first appears on the Tonight Show

Age 30 - Kurt Vonnegut publishes his first novel, "Player Piano" (to be fair he was fighting in WWII and stuff)

Age 31 – Neil Simon writes his first play

Age 31 – Judy Blume publishes her first novel

Age 33 – Virginia Woolf writes her first novel, the Voyage Out

Age 34 – Margaret Edson produces her first and only play, “Wit”

Age 36 – Christopher Guest has his one-season stint on SNL

Age 36 – Dave Barry gets his gig writing a humor column for the Miami Herald

Age 38 – George Saunders publishes first collection of short stories

Age 40 - Eric Carle publishes "The Very Hungry Caterpillar"

Age 45 - Roald Dahl writes "James and the Giant Peach"

Age 46 - E.B. White publishes his first children's novel (never mind that the New Yorker printed his first essay at age 26)

Age 57 – George Washington becomes president

I’m gonna flip out when I turn 40.