Why you should never google "naked mole rat"

I mean, really?

I'll never understand the baby panda phenomenon. They get a bit cuter, but the newborns are quite icky.

If I was the creator of "Lost"

If I was the creator of “Lost," I wouldn’t have made it a mystery island with a smoke monster and people getting attacked and traveling through time. It would just be like how do a group of people survive on an island, by building houses, and figuring out what plants are edible, and learning to fish and make fires.

Also, I wouldn’t make the series start with a plane crash--that’s a bit scary. Instead, maybe people could just be helicoptered onto the island, or take a boat ride there and have a lovely picnic but then realize they’ve run out of gas and can’t get back to the mainland. But they’d be allowed to leave whenever they wanted because there would be members of the coast guard nearby.

Also, I would use real people, not actors, so you could never guess what they would say next. And I would have them compete in games we set up on the island, like capture the flag and tag with special rules.

Also, the island would be Australia and the show would be set up just outside Sydney. That way people could get snacks they liked just a drive away. We’d give them all phones with regional SIM cards so they could call home, and their loved ones wouldn’t worry. And if they really needed a break, they could just check into a hotel until they were ready to have some fun again.

Actually, maybe I’d just check them directly into the hotel to begin with. We could film them flipping through television channels, getting a drink at the hotel bar, filling up on ice at the ice machine, using the small gym. Yes, that would be the main focus of the show, and then we could take them outside sometimes, to keep the jungle aspect, and they could do tae-bo in the parking lot or argue about where to go for dinner.

I wouldn’t call it “Lost,” either, I’d call it something like “Pretty Comfortable” or “Hotel Time.”

I’d watch it.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/20_million_americans?utm_source=a-section

Fairfax sues Krispy Kreme over ruined sewer system

"The suit details problems with the plant dating as far back as 2004, describing a sewer facility permeated by the smell of doughnuts, pipes clogged with corrosive slime and the resulting raw sewage leaks that eventually shut down the southern Fairfax sewer system."

Thank goodness it wasn't Krispy Kreme bacon cheeseburgers.

The Lord Justice Hath Ruled: Pringles Are Potato Chips

In Britain, most foods are exempt from the value-added tax, but potato chips — known as crisps — and “similar products made from the potato, or from potato flour,” are taxable. Procter & Gamble, in what could be considered a plea for strict construction, argued that Pringles — which are about 40 percent potato flour, but also contain corn, rice and wheat — should not be considered potato chips or “similar products.” Rather, they are “savory snacks.”