This morning on the train I was seated for several stops on the train next to one of those awful blond people with a Chanel bag. Everything this woman did was designed to make me hate her. She swept her perfectly waved blond hair out of her face to reapply her lipstick and gloss, removed her Burberry sunglasses and replaced them in their case. Then, she took out her *pink* Blackberry to check a few things—probably People.com—and finally turned up the volume on her iTouch so that I could hear the thumping in the background of the latest Katy Perry single.
Every single one of the defense mechanisms I built up in a high school full of people like this came crashing out of the gate. “Boy, she looks dumb with all that make-up on,” I thought. “I bet she think it’s cool to be stupid.” “I’ll just continue reading my theology book called ‘The River of Light’” and “I think my purple painted fingernails look funky, so I don’t care if hers are perfectly manicured” and finally, inevitably: “What a cunt.”
Only then, in my head, she started responding to what I was thinking and told ME that I was the one with a problem and that I really ought to dress up and enjoy life while I was young and beautiful. And she said nobody likes poor people, and that why didn’t I brush my hair?
So I punched the bitch, and in my rage, I got off at the wrong stop.
I need to get out of this city.
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2 comments:
I listen to Katy Perry on my iTouch sometimes. As I tap "Hot N Cold" with my index finger, I can see my reflection in my chipped purple nail polish, and I question who I've become. I glance around to see if anyone has noticed how much my general presentation contrasts with my musical selection, hoping they will see me for the study in irony that I am, not the fraud I could be.
i cited katy perry as annoying music more than boring chanel girl music. also, we *both* have purple nail polish? let's work on that. at least they are different shades, i think.
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