Wednesday, January 2, 2008

God Bless Our First Amendment Rights

My hometown paper has a wonderful feature where anyone can call in and tell it how they see it, and the paper will print whatever you say. The things people work up the energy to call in and say...remarkable!

We like the Christmas displays, liberals
I wanted to say thank you to all the wonderful people that did all the work at Christmastime putting up all those Christmas lights and displays. We went out three or four times and we were just absolutely thrilled with all the displays. They were just beautiful. Happy New Year. The liberals and the enemies lost big-time.

Yeah, all those liberals with their strict anti-cheer policy can go straight to hell. Why don't they just phone up Osama and dance on a mall Santa cloaked in an American flag to celebrate Razzamadazz or whatever that pro-gloom Islamicky festival is called?

There's no global warming; it snowed
I just wanted to say so much for global warming. I live in Paradise and I've got about 4 inches of snow on the ground.

It SNOWED??? Why wasn't this on the National News?! What have I been saying this whole time? I told you it wasn't getting any hotter!

Those bullet shot holes are ridiculous
It's Dec. 27. It's about 4:45. There's a brand-new PT Cruiser in front of me and they have those fake little bullet shot holes and I think that's utterly ridiculous and I don't think it's funny. I've seen them on other cars before.

It's Jan. 2. It's about 4:53. There's a newspaper in front of me and it has a complaint about fake bullet holes ("bullet shot" holes, it calls them) on car rear windshields, and I think that's utterly ridiculous. I've seen silly complaints before, but this one wins.

How do you get rid of grease stains?
Does anybody out there have a remedy for grease stains on dark colors? I've tried everything.

Spilled a little barbecue sauce on your suit at Aunt Millie's wake? Get the grease out of black fabric using dish detergent. You can still make it to Cousin Sue's wedding and stop her from marrying that awful Ted guy! Run, man, run!

1 comment:

wellsprings said...

Your "hometown" paper? Wouldn't that be the Northside Recorder of San Antonio?